Change

We all know I don't handle change well, it's just not my thing. Which is interesting given the number of times I've moved and created my own life upheaval. Change is inevitable, change is mostly good, and change seems to be the order of business these days.

After eighteen months we are losing the family that we nanny share with. They are moving to Hawaii for a temporary project. Corrin's BFF Grae will not be around anymore to teach her all of the fun things she does. Grae is super smart and super outgoing, she does not have the same shy character that Corrin has, and so pushes Corrin to try new and different things that she might not otherwise do. They sit and giggle with each other and play and sometimes push...they are the sister neither of them has :) We were so thankful that our nanny Jo would still be with us, she is so fantastic with the girls and we truly credit much of Corrin's development over these last few months to her.

So the search for a new family to share with began...then Jo told us her husband was offered a fantastic position in another state. In this economy, you take what you can get. We are very excited for them, and know he has been looking for a long time. Our little bubble popped. What now, Montessori School? New family and nanny? Lots of changes for our little girl.

A great person once said "nothing is constant but change". Hopefully Corrin will bear this change better than her Mama is.

TEAM RIVER!!!!

My best friend's baby was born premature, and as the weeks go on, we are learning that he has as yet un-diagnosed neurolgical issues. All we do know is they the issues are there. His name is River, he is beautiful and has a fantastic smile. His mother is a wonderful, caring, giving, observant, honest human being whom I admire beyond words.

The gift of a child is a blessing beyond words. The love that a parent feels for their child is like nothing they have ever experienced and cannot be described to others. The dreams we have for them, the hopes and visions for their life, carry very close to our hearts. When something like this happens, there is an astronomical shift in that vision and is something that we mourn. Having witnessed severe illness and conditions in our nieces and nephews, as well as the power of prayer and the joys of recovery, I see the effect these things have on a parent. I am positive that my best friend and her husband will weather this like the incredible human beings they are.

Now, I ask those that read this for your prayers. Prayers for my best friend, for her husband, for their beautiful baby boy, River. If praying is not your "thing" then please, send positive thoughts, positive energey, some good Karma, or whatever else you can think of to them. They will find their way.

39? Really??

The whole "getting older" thing is really throwing me off this year. I turned 39 a few weeks ago and it's really thrown me for a loop; I mean, I'm not just kissing 40, we're rolling around on the floor with our clothes almost completely off.

Part of the issue, I believe, is that the majority of my friends and my husband are anywhere between 5 and 10 years younger than me. What a strange circumstance to realize that you are not in your early thirties...or twenties by the way I act sometimes.

My reasoning...I lost ten years of my life in a blur of insanity and now I am just catching up to my "mind age". In my mind, and because of past circumstances, I really should only be 29, which means I get to do my thirties over!!! And because I really did not lose ten years, I know my 30's have been the best years of my life so far and I will get to enjoy them again!!!! Ahhh...if only I were a Hollywood writer, this would be a good film. If I see this idea later you'll find me on TMZ suing whoever stole it :)

Alas, while not mentally, chronically and physically I am 39 years old. My knees creak, I have to watch what I eat and drink, gone are the days when I could play kickball on a Thursday night until 10:00, engage in a rousing flip-cup tournament until 2:00am and sit alert and aware at my desk the next morning without the slightest hint of a hangover.

The good news is that certain traditions live on, the Last Birthday Bash was alive and well this year and MUCH fun. Times have changed; we stayed in a cabin instead of tents, there were six of us rather than twenty-six, I was in bed by 11:00 both nights and missed Corrin each and every second. Our best friends' lives have changed too and for the first time in my life I enjoyed a fully vegan supper thanks to the Webbs. Next year is a big one...I'm hoping for a trip to Ireland (it's my dream), but will happily spend another weekend in my favirote Colorado town with my husband, daughter and best friends.

I guess making out with 40 is not really all that bad. I'll enjoy the last eleven months of my thirties and then do what I have always done best...dive into my forties like there is no tomorrow.

Seven Months Later...

Sorry yet again for the gap in posting. I have no excuse; turns out my life is basically boring and so I have nothing to share. Colin is still doing great at work, Corrin is 18 months old...18 MONTHS!!! She is walking everywhere, talking up a storm and doing extremely well. She's a little too smart for me.

My best friend Kitty had a baby yesterday!!!! He is so beautiful and while I have not gotten to meet him yet the photo she sent is awesome. I cant wait to hold him!

Work is still good, I really do love my job and the office I work at and am thankful every day to be here.

I think the one and only horrible thing right now is that my sister Katie and her family are moving out of state. She has a wonderful husband and four absolutely beautiful children and we get to see them about once a month and now that is all going to change. It is impossible to think if because while I have always lived somewhere else, Katie has always been here. For nine years we have lived a charmed little life here with our parents and all four sisters within twenty minutes of each other. It has been a gift I will cherish forever and one I am not willing to give up.

My heart hurts for Katie, who has never lived more than an hour from Connie. Who has a home here and church and friends and her sisters that all are going to feel far away. She is truly starting anew with her family and I admire her courage and her commitment to make it work and be a good thing. Her grace is awe inspiring and even on the days where she is not 100% into it, she puts on a brave face.

I have made major moves no fewer than seven times since I was sixteen years old, my current move back to Colorado is the longest I have stayed on one place since birth; the house I live in right now is the longest I have resided at one address in equally as long. As an old pro I know the trials and tribulations of learning a new place, town, state, culture...it takes a year to get your bearings and build new friendships. Once that part is done, the rest is a little easier, but for Katie it's 12 months of nursing not only her own heart but also those of her husband and children too. I am positive she can do, I am positive that this is exactly what God has planned for her and their family, absolutely positive of that...but my heart is still breaking.

Katie is amazing and I will miss her (and hopefully get to visit her) often.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

To my dear, sweet Corrin...

You bring me joy every single day. Thank you for coming into our lives. Even at just one year you have an awesome, strong personality. You are calm and goofy, but you know what you want and have your Mommy's stubborn streak...you have already learned that cute always wins and you work it. I am consistently amazed by how smart you are, and know that the second I see you every other worry in the world will be gone. I love you sweet girl, and look forward to all of your birthdays to come.

Hmmm...I'm just slow

Corrin, work, weekends, Corrin, family, work....all excuses. I guess it turns out I will NEVER be supermom that can work, be a mommy and maintain my blog. Sorry folks. My new job (ok, not so new really) is amazing. I love it here and feel like I have found my place in the private practice world. Corrin is thriving! She's beautiful and goofy and doing really well...and still waking up in the middle of the night but we're working on that :). Colin is doing really well at work and truly excelling in his position. I'm so proud of him.

Last Sunday we baptised Corrin in the church we were married in, the Reverend who married us performed a portion of the ceremony and it was really wonderful. We have grown to love our church over the last few years, and both are very happy that Corrin will get to grow up in that community, and with the support of our congregation. Baptisms are done during regular services, and so the whole church family is there to promise to help guide the children through their life; it is truly beautiful and moving to know all of those people have pledged to be there for Corrin. She will have so much support and love through her life, from parents, to grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, and on and on. We are so incredibly blessed.

Colin's parents and sisters were able to come out for the ceremony, making it that much more special. I continue to be humbled by their support and love, the time they took out of their own busy lives and away from their families is very touching and I cannot be more thankful to have such wonderful in-laws.

Hopefully I will get some photos up here soon of the big occasion.

Five years ago today I met Colin in a bar...for those of you who don't know the story, it all began when one of the people at his table (which was next to mine) left and turned to say good-bye, accidentally clocking me in the back of the head with his elbow then took off without even saying sorry!! Colin, forever the gentleman, offered to buy me a drink as an apology for his friend. I promptly said no...Colin had the chutzpah to buy it for me anyway and I was VERY impressed. We spent the rest of the evening talking and I fell in love with him that night.

Here we are, five years, one engagement, one wedding and one daughter later and I still love him more every single day. He is brilliant, funny, kind, generous, and an amazing father. I am consistenly amazed by his capacity for patience (I'm a serious pain in the ass), and thrilled by how he always, always shows me how much he loves me.

My love - thank you for all that you have given me, thank you for showing me what a good and safe relationship can be, thank you for letting me be myself all the time, thank you for becoming a part of our family, thank you for our daughter. I love you so very much, and am excited for all of the years to come.