No Random Thoughts...No Thoughts at All

Basically, the last couple of weeks have been a serious bummer. The house fell through, I managed to alienate one of my cousins, and I am officially terrified about being a mom.

Colin and I went to register at Babies R' Us last weekend thinking a number of things but mainly that we have a clue about what we are doing. My initial plan was to go with someone who has done this before, but I thought, what the heck, give it a try. HA! That said, we managed to get some things on the registry, I have no idea if they are right, if we need them or where we are going to put them. But most importantly, I learned that despite avid reading, Internet research, talking with my sisters and friends and watching parents and children everywhere I really have absolutely no idea what I am about to get into.

My saving grace??? An incredible husband who is totally supportive. Of course, he's freaked out too and I'm not about to stress the poor guy out more. We still have not registered for things like car seats, strollers, pac-n-play's, etc. because we decided more research is necessary....

So - to the title of this post. My parents will gladly tell you that I am one serious procrastinator. My general thought is if something needs to be done the very last minute is the best time to do it. I literally shut down until I am forced to do something. Over the years, this has been an incredibly successful trait and any lawyer will tell you, something we all do. The problem is I am so freaked out about Little Miss Wiggly that I literally can't think at all. Not only do I not have random thoughts, I have NO thoughts.

Now I am well aware that this is a time in life when procrastination is an EXTREMELY bad idea, and I am trying very hard to work through it. But each time I think of things like daycare my brain literally shuts off and I find myself a half hour later reading TMZ.com. ME!!! I mean, normally I procrastinate with CNN.com or something semi-productive. This is BAD.

Of course here I am...blogging when I could be working out our child's daycare, financial future, my work schedule after she is born...you name the important other thing I could be thinking about and working on. UGH!!!!

Dissapointed

Well, after a two and a half hour inspection on the house last Friday, we learned that there are a few issues that must be taken care of. First, the roof is not up to code and needs either a five year certification or replacement. Second, there is an issue with the furnace such that neither the heat or the AC will turn on. Third, and largest, we had a plumber film the main sewer line and we learned that at the junction between the house and the line to the alley the pipe is "on the verge of collapse."

In and of themselves, these things are not complete disasters, and our thought was that the owner would need to replace or fix these items for every potential buyer and it is in their best interest to do it for the one that they are under contract with and who has confirmed, secured financing. Boy, were we wrong. They signed back the inspection report that they are refusing to repair or even look at any of it.

This is incredibly disheartening. "Ready to Move" barely begins the state of my mind and heart right now, and the idea that we are not closing in three weeks is breaking my heart. We refuse to purchase a home that will cause this much grief, and honestly feel strong-armed into accepting somethings that are major issues.

The problem remains, however, that we became attached to this home and the idea of this home and now we have to start all over. It had everything we wanted in the perfect neighborhood and I am simply heartbroken. It took us almost five months to find this. Is it going to be another five months and the baby be born before we find another?

Happy Anniversary!!!

Today is my parents twenty-fourth wedding anniversary. They are two truly amazing people whose love is as full and passionate today as it was when they met and married. I have never seen them raise their voices at each other in anger, and they have done nothing but shown each other love, compassion, sharing and kindness. They are a model for any relationship, and I pray my marraige is as strong twenty-four years from now as I know theirs will still be.

Birthdays

Birthdays are an incredible thing. I woke up this morning another year older, but I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. God has blessed me with a husband who not only loves me, but who shows me each and every day how much he loves me. A family that is truly incredible and there for me no matter what I need, friends who may as well be family for how amazing they all are, and a job I get to go to every day and enjoy. Today is a day of being thankful. For the four of you who read this, thank you so very much for being a part of this life.

Wow - I'm Becoming a Grown Up

I have always tried to live by the motto "grow up, never grow old." The problem is I have not really found myself growing up over the years. Recently, however, there have been a few major changes to my life that make me think maybe I am finally growing up a little.

The first you all know about...little miss baby girl who will be joining us in late November. The second happened this weekend. My husband (still odd to say after a year and five months) are under contract for a house! That's right, we have a contract on a sweet little duplex in Denver's Governor's Park neighborhood. I am so excited I can barely stand it! And scared, and more than a little ready to move in and start decorating!

Now, I have had friends and family over the last few months all but houses and all have issues come up after the contract has been signed and delivered so I am not totally devoid of reality, however it is really hard to not be mentally moved in before I get the keys...any advice on this would be VERY helpful!

Mammoth

Today is full of random thoughts, but mainly that I feel like a woolly mammoth. Seriously. I don't know if anyone has ever told you this, but prenatal pills make ALL of your hair grow. Head hair, arm hair, even the fuzzy little facial hairs are longer. Add that to the growing size of my belly, butt and boobs and I feel like a big, gigantic woolly mammoth. That and grooming in certain areas has become quite comical considering I can no longer see down there. I think I need to start yoga to gain a little better flexibility.

OH - and my little girl is on the move. Quite an odd thing to feel another being moving around inside you. Now I know how those astronauts felt on alien. She is most active when I lay down at night and in the morning. She does not like it when I sit at my desk. However, she is going to like to dance. I was listening to a Chris Webb CD and she was jumping all over the place!!

We can't feel anything on the outside yet, but hopefully soon. Of course, being the neurotic freak that I am, I tend to have little conniption fits when I don't feel her moving. In talking with other pregnant friends, this is apparently normal, but I don't like feeling her one day and not very much the next. The little stinker is already freaking her Mom out.

My Boobs

I have forever had a love-hate relationship with my boobs. They didn't grow until I was out of college, and then, for a few blissful years, they were fantastic. I mean it, I loved them. Unfortunately, they got a little big for my taste (so did I), and will only be the right size if I manage to get down to a somewhat scary weight.

That said, presently, due to my condition, they are freakin' huge. Seriously, they are in the way. I can't put my arms all the way down, and try to play a round of pool with these mama's. I have purchased three new bras since becoming pregnant and have grown out of ALL of them. I have 20 1/2 weeks to go!!!!! If they are this bad now who knows what the future holds. Ugh!

Payback is a BITCH

For all one of you that read this, Random Thought of the day is that payback is a bitch. Yesterday when I complained about being stuck in a traffic jam the Traffic Gods paid me back IN FORCE!

Picture late morning, I have to go to the detention center to visit a client (for any random readers - and I know there are none - I am an immigration lawyer) and find out that my client has been moved to Park County jail. Color me thrilled to take a nice drive in the mountains!!!! But nooooooo, construction traffic again turns my lovely drive into hell.

Moral of the story, no complaining about traffic unless you want to have instant karma bite you in the ass.

TRAFFIC

So here's the thing, I used to love to drive my car. It was a good way to relax on the way in to work and let's face it, driving is exhilarating! At least when you have a lead foot and get about one ticket a year.

However lately, there is a huge construction project going on at the intersection in front of my office. Not just some re-paving, but expansion, new lights, paving, etc. It is, in a word, a nightmare. Every day I get to about a mile from my intersection and learn that either the right, or left, lane are closed. It is never consistent for two days in a row and the blind curve directly before the construction people place the cones is always a fun way to think you might die in the morning.

It makes me tired, frustrated and I am positive my blood pressure is skyrocketing. And this is at 8:00 in the morning. I still have a day of work to go! I find myself REALLY looking forward to August when they say they are going to be done...of course my husband the engineer has taken a look at it recently and says no way. Oh well, I'll have to find another fun curve to speed around in the meantime...